I have long been a victim to my whims and fancies, lured away from my endeavors by the glittering allures of procrastination or flow’s rabbit hole. The battle against my indolence is one I’ve waged within myself for as long as I can remember, and I have littered the front lines of my memory with the casualties of my good intentions.
But I am nothing if not a stubborn and persistent weed, and I refuse to be defeated by my shortcomings. This week, I aimed to achieve a humble objective of only prioritizing only three daily tasks and seeing them through to completion: work (on my portfolio or blog), work out (at least an hour on the elliptical), and practice my languages.
Though modest in scope, it was formidable in execution. My mind was a muddled jumble of haphazard plans and diverging distractions, like a library after a tornado tore through it. Corralling my conceptions into a cohesive list was a laborious chore in and of itself. Thinkings come at me like debris, flying by with no sense of order or purpose. I struggled to cling to a single notion, but it slipped from my grasp as quickly as it arrived. The more I tried to make sense of it, the stronger the storm raged. But onward, I pressed, jotting my tasks each morning with grim resolve.
All the while, I criticized myself, “It shouldn’t be this difficult.”
At first, my progress was slow and halting. I was constantly drawn away from my work by the captivating call of idle curiosity-or as I prefer to call it, the internet. One day, I chanced upon an article on UX thematic analysis while penning a process analysis report describing how to extrapolate data from interview transcripts for research. And, lo and behold, down the rabbit hole, I tumbled, with nary a care for deadlines or duties! I descended into a labyrinthine search for more information of such mind-boggling complexity that I couldn’t help but be swept away.
I discovered a curious remedy as I drifted further into the abyss of unlimited knowledge and bewildering ideas. Putting pen to actual paper to express my aspirations – despite its admittedly saccharine quality – anchored my wandering thoughts and allowed me to concentrate on what was immediately before me. And with each task accomplished, every objective met and noted with a proud mark of completion, I was filled with the warm swelling of gratification.
Whether it be a figment of our imagination or not, I prefer to believe that pursuing a mirage gives our lives a certain je ne sais quoi.
But, like all wars, there were setbacks and defeats. Some days I would find myself swarmed by the sheer volume of work, while unexpected obstacles would waylay others.
Take, for instance, the cruel jest fate played when my dear website quit, refusing to accept my commands. The hours slipped by, and the amount of work ahead seemed insurmountable. But I took a deep breath and rolled with the proverbial punches like a seasoned pugilist, deftly dodging life’s blows and adjusting my list to account for life’s vagaries.
I rescheduled my workout and knuckled down to the task. I took each troubleshooting suggestion, one by one, crossing my attempts off with each failure. Eventually, I had to ask for help, but, in the end, I emerged victorious, the uploads uploaded, and my spirit unbroken.
So gradually, I began to see the fruits of my efforts – or, more precisely (in my opinion), evidence that my life isn’t a complete waste. My work became more focused, my productivity increased, and the delight with each day’s achievements revitalized my spent psyche like a refreshing elixir…or a shot of expresso.
I am still far from the perfect paragon of productivity. Let’s call me a work in progress and leave it at that. Regardless, I accept that the struggle against my lethargy will be ongoing. But I take solace in knowing that, with each sunrise, I am one step closer to victory.
I realize that I may be deluding myself. This prioritization pedagogy may be just another distraction, a mirage in my mind’s desert of despair. It’s possible that I’m simply trading one form of procrastination for another and that the supposed progress I’ve made is merely an illusion. But, in the end, isn’t it better to strive towards something, even if it’s just a mirage, rather than surrender to the void of inactivity?
When I first learned to drive a car and found myself worried about getting lost, my mother offered these words of comfort: “The worst that can happen is that you’ll have to turn around – and really, is that so terrible?”
With a tongue as quick as a lightening bolt and a wit to match, my mother’s pithy and poignant words reminded me that the trials along life’s roads may be minor detours, possibly sidequests in life’s journey, but getting lost is often the best way to find yourself. For some reason, these words resonated long after uttered, echoing the age-old quandary: to strive or not to strive.
That, my dear, is the question. And let me tell you, darling, there is no competition. Whether it be a figment of our imagination or not, I prefer to believe that pursuing a mirage gives our lives a certain je ne sais quoi. It gives us direction in a world that often feels like a blur of monotony, where the future is uncertain and the present a never-ending stream of boredom.
But surrendering to inactivity? That’s like floating adrift in a sea of ennui, never truly living life to its fullest. We become mere spectators in our lives, never reaching for the stars, never genuinely embracing our potential.
No, my friend, it is better to chase a mirage than surrender to such a dull existence. Even if the goal is unattainable, the journey towards it can still lead to self-discovery, growth, and the betterment of oneself. It can be a catalyst for change, a spark in the dark, providing us with the drive and motivation to live a life full of purpose and meaning.
What do we all yearn for in the end? Improvement, growth, a life ablaze with purpose and passion? So, let’s go ahead and chase our milestones, even when they are mirages, for they may mold us into the people we always wanted to become. After all, it’s better to be a work-in-progress than to give up.
