“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” This famous saying suggests that when faced with challenges or setbacks, we should find a way to turn them into opportunities. But what if we’re overwhelmed with failure and unsure how to bounce back? How can we find flexibility and resilience to keep going without drowning our sorrows in hard lemonade?

The Road So Far… Resolutions Reprise

(If you’ve been following along, you can probably skip ahead to the next section »)

Starting last July and continuing through the new year, I set out to accomplish some pretty lofty goals, like becoming a superhuman version of myself. I planned to take better care of my appearance, become heart-healthy, declutter my living space, and become multilingual while simultaneously juggling how to showcase my design portfolio, reassemble a social life, and develop a blog documenting this transformation from sloth to superhero. Because let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be a polyglot Sherlock Holmes who effortlessly fits into their favorite pair of jeans?

[aux_quote type=”pullquote-normal” text_align=”left” quote_symbol=”1″ float=””]Because let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be a polyglot Sherlock Holmes who effortlessly fits into their favorite pair of jeans?[/aux_quote]

I created some prioritized plans. I counted calories and became more active. I used the gamified DuoLingo app daily for at least one lesson, if not ten. Likewise, my professional pursuits to improve my job prospects and advance my career as a media artist-designer included:

• Building a website/blog to document my efforts.
• Reorganizing my past work.
• Redoing my portfolio projects.

These resolutions helped me feel more fulfilled and happier. I lost 50 pounds! I became more fluent in basic Spanish, French, Norwegian, and Italian. I built the blog website architecture, and I started writing regularly. 

Admittedly, I’ve found the last two weeks between ending one year and beginning the next messy. One of the biggest challenges I faced was finding the time and motivation to exercise regularly. Between the holidays, fumigations, and downsizing, I felt too overwhelmed to make much effort, so I failed to burn as many calories as I needed to maintain my current weight. In fact, I gained 8 pounds!

In addition to struggling with my physical goals, the recent stress and lack of activity took a toll on my mental well-being. My tired and inflamed body made focus difficult during my language studies. The fact that some of my clothes were in storage further compounded my frustration. The accessible belongings didn’t fit as comfortably as only a week before, and I struggled to feel good about myself.

Despite these lapses, I remained determined, and amid all the craziness, I found some surprising comfort through spontaneity and frivolity. One such incredible incident included joining my female writing group for a meetup. Despite feeling anxious about meeting new people and reconnecting with familiar faces, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. As a result, I enjoyed an entertaining night with fellow writers, archivists, and rock and roll fans. However, I stayed out too late and drank too much. I needed to be more mindful, moderate my alcohol consumption, and find alternative ways to find the confidence to connect with others. 

The first few weeks of the new year proved to be a real trial of resilience. I attempted to fathom the art of adaptability through failure, flexibility, and focus on this ambitious life journey while recording my efforts of overcoming obstacles and aiming for at least a little accomplishment.

The Sophomore Slump: Second Week Setbacks

The second week of the new year started with yet another challenge for me and The Brood: another displacement to temporary living arrangements (aka a hotel room) due to a second pest control treatment. Even knowing what to expect and being solely tasked with managing the cats during the process, I felt discombobulated about another hotel stay. I wanted everything to be over as soon as possible so we could return to some semblance of a schedule.

We consolidated our needs, considering what we learned during the first fumigation. I decided not to bring the guitar this time since I didn’t play it at all last time. I only needed a few clothes or toiletries, too, since we checked in at night instead of in the afternoon. I left all the exercise clothes behind.

Last time the room contained little space for exercise. Even if I managed to find a milieu for some movement, I vetoed the idea in favor of a quiet and calm atmosphere so as not to disturb the animals more. I could move around only modestly in the barely bigger new space. Although there was no scale to confirm my fears, I knew I wasn’t burning enough calories without working out. No doubt I was gaining weight instead of maintaining or losing it. Being so sedentary left me derailed and depressed.

Derailing and Failing: Old Habits Die Hard

My cat brood joined in my brooding. Upon arrival, toothless Chip Douglas drooled so much throughout the commute that his fur was damp. Trixie B. tried to hide under the bed again. Upon finding the base solid, she squeezed her diminutive self between the bed frame and wall until we discovered and extracted her. We then cat-proofed the crannies, cramming them with pillows and duffels. Only Hersey Madison remained unaffected. 

Meanwhile, I slid into old binging habits: binge-watching NCIS, binge-eating, and binge-working. Instead of using my time productively, I mindlessly scrolled through my phone. At the same time, I indulged in unhealthy foods to cope with the monotony of being stuck in a small space. 

I often found myself in a flow state, wholly absorbed in my computer work, and everything else seemed to fade into background noise. Typically, people find this one of my positive qualities. But, when I over-focus, I often overwork and become blind to the possibilities and opportunities around me, missing out on other aspects of my life, such as relationships and self-care, impeding my physical and mental health.

Despite feeling down, I tried to find ways to get back on track with my resolutions. I planned on taking small steps, such as eating smaller portions and attempting to get some light exercise. Even if it didn’t stop the weight gain, I might at least restrain it by offsetting the total number of calories consumed. 

[aux_quote type=”pullquote-normal” text_align=”left” quote_symbol=”1″ float=””]Despite feeling down, I tried to find ways to get back on track with my resolutions. I planned on taking small steps, such as eating smaller portions and attempting to get some light exercise. Even if it didn’t stop the weight gain, I might at least restrain it by offsetting the total number of calories consumed. [/aux_quote]

Mostly, I failed, but at least I tried. Convenience beat out any effort in the end. Restricted to a cube with no kitchen or stove access, I relied on pre-purchased snacks from the 7-11 for breakfast and pub meals that usually consisted of veggie burgers and fries for dinner and canned hard lemonade for a nightcap (life seemed to be handing me hard, acrid lemons, after all…).

Managing Mischief and Cat-astrophic Consequences 

The first night’s events were a perfect storm of feline anxiety and mischief. Trixie found a hiding spot under one of the bedside tables behind her carrier. She was trying to escape the stress and find a sense of security. Hersey, on the other hand, had other ideas. She wanted to play, but her rambunctious behavior only escalated Trixie’s heightened apprehension. 

Things quickly spiraled out of control when I tried to intervene between their slapping paws to separate them. In my attempts to scruff Herse and remove her from the situation, she latched onto my arm with such ferocity it felt like she was a culinarian trying to create Julienne Fries out of my forearm. I had no choice but to separate her into the bathroom for a time-out. My guilt soon set in as I listened to her yowling at the top of her tiny little lungs.

After I released the perpetual “toddler” from her penalty box, she thanked me by lacing figure eights around my ankles as I clumsily tripped back to bed. She must have thought she had found a new play spot when she leaped to the top of the wardrobe and then to the television frame to explore. Her curiosity quickly placed her in a precarious position. 

As a result of the TV frame being too narrow for her to turn around, she resorted to blindly stepping backward. But when her back paws slipped off the edge, her weight pulled the rest of her down. She crashed into the desk lamp and its table as she acrobatically twisted, trying to land on the floor on all fours. I was on high alert for the rest of the night, worried that one of my cats might hurt itself again. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much.

Building a Strong Foundation

I at least stayed organized and on top of my creative, blog, and portfolio work goals, which helped me feel more productive and in control. I progressed by keeping up with my personal narrative essay writing and finally published some posts. I created an animated ad graphic for my Tee Public store. I also structured a portfolio page highlighting my design work and considered the architecture for other brand pages. With a baseline structure in place, I primarily focused on content creation. 

Even though I’d decided to start with a customized template until I could devote enough time to build a unique theme, I felt accomplished seeing the site come together. ( It still has some bugs—pun intended)—but I’m working with customer service to exterminate (er… troubleshoot.) 

How to Bend Without Breaking

At the beginning of my week, I had specific ideas of what I wanted to achieve and a strict plan for getting there. But sometimes, things don’t go as smoothly as planned, and that’s okay. Improvement doesn’t always come in giant leaps but sometimes through small steps and efforts that gradually add up over time as long as I am consistent and persistent.

I tried to be as flexible as Hersey and acrobatically adapt to my missteps. Yet, I strained to find methods to stay motivated and optimistic. Falling down is okay, but after a fortnight of failure and despair, pushing past this downfall seemed vital if I wanted to land back on my feet. 

I stumbled with the acceptance that failure is a natural and inevitable part of growth and success. So, Instead of slips, I reframed seeing them as opportunities for reflection and learning. This helped me stay resolute at the beginning of this week when things seemed slow, complex, or reversed. 

After the exterminator completed the second fumigation and about 24 hours after our initial displacement, even the cats settled into a sense of solace, signaling the end of our exile.

Taking a Time Out: The Power of a Pause

As we begin redecorating our home and resuming healthier habits this weekend, I’d like to become more efficient and effective in keeping sight of my end goals. When I become thoroughly absorbed in my work, I must remember the concept of attention restoration and strive for better balance.

The concept of attention restoration involves taking regular breaks and engaging in activities that allow the mind to relax and rejuvenate, counteracting the adverse effects of mental fatigue and over-focusing. This includes nature walks, mindfulness practices, exercising, or hobbies like singing, playing guitar, and songwriting. 

One key component of attention restoration is the discipline of taking breaks. While it can be tempting to power through and push myself to my limits, I need to understand that our human brains have a limited capacity for sustained attention. Regular breaks allow us to step back from our work, refocus our attention, and recharge our mental batteries.

By taking time to step back, reflect, reassess, and redirect, I’ll avoid burnout and ensure my efforts always align with my values and priorities; I’ll maintain a more sustainable workflow and life balance. Furthermore, I’ll improve my focus and productivity when I return to my projects, nurturing balance and harmony.

Tiptoeing and Tightrope Walking

Reflecting on my journey, I’ve realized that success is not always a straight line. It’s essential to remain flexible to learn from failures. I’ve experienced this firsthand as I’ve struggled to maintain my resolutions. Still, I’ve also found ways to bounce back by taking breaks and practicing attention restoration.

As Marion, the character in the film “Wings of Desire,” reflects: “As if pain has no past. All the people I’ve met who’ll live on in my head. It always stops just when it’s starting. It was too good to be true. Out in the big city at last, to find out who I am, who I’ve become. Most of the time, I’m too aware to be sad. I waited an eternity for someone to say a loving word to me. Then I went abroad. Someone who’d say ‘I love you so much today.’ That would be wonderful. I look up, and the world emerges before my eyes and fills my heart. As a child, I wanted to be on an island. A woman alone, gloriously alone. Yes… that’s it. Empty. Incompatible. Emptiness, fear, fear, fear, fear. Like a little animal lost in the woods. Who are you? I don’t know anymore. But I do know, I’ll never become a trapeze artist. One of those unexpected decisions you hold on to. Don’t cry! No way! Crying is out of the question. These things happen. It’s just how it is. Things don’t always turn out the way you’d like. So empty.”

Like Marion, I’ve realized that pain is a part of life and that things don’t always turn out the way we want. As I reflect on my past experiences, the people I’ve met, and how they’ve influenced my sense of self, I frequently feel emptiness and fear. Periodically I feel lost, like I don’t know who I am anymore. I often feel defeated and like I have to give up on my dreams when things don’t turn out as I hope. However, I hope to find some beauty and meaning in my struggles by remaining resilient and true to myself.

[aux_quote type=”pullquote-normal” text_align=”left” quote_symbol=”1″ float=””]Like Marion, I’ve realized that pain is a part of life and that things don’t always turn out the way we want.[/aux_quote]

 Let’s support each other in this process. We find ways to lift each other up when we talk. Are there areas where we tend to throw in the towel or have a meltdown? What can we do to become more of a phoenix and less of a pile of ash when faced with pitfalls? And most importantly, how can we master the art of turning lemons into something that’s not just lemonade but a damn good cocktail? 

Let’s tiptoe, tightrope walk, rise from the ashes, and reach for our dreams.

 I may never be a professional trapeze artist, but that doesn’t mean I can’t practice any aerial arts.